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These are some of my random thoughts and poems. Everything on this page is 100% me! Hope you enjoy. :)

I don't know if I can be beautiful for you
But I promise I'll try
Hold me in your arms like a cocoon
Make me your butterfly

Friday, February 12, 2010

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Monday, February 8, 2010

Me and Poetry (Confessions of A Dreamer)

I've written poetry since I was in the second grade. Little simplistic poems of course, nothing of substance. When I was in the fourth grade I won a contest for a free wagon by writing a four line poem about recycling lol. So basically writing has always been my muse.

Whether I was happy or mad or upset or confused the only way for me to release myself was through pen and paper. What I write doesn't always make sense and it isn't always good, but it's always me. Honestly without seeing my thoughts and emotions scribbled onto a paper, sometimes I forget who I am.

I haven't written anything in a long time and I think that might be why I've been so lost lately. It's not that I haven't tried, little fragments of poems or ideas to build upon come to mind but every time I sit down to clear my head the words won't come to me.

Even now I find it hard to write this, my mind is to boggled down with all the extra things going on in my life but this blog is where I'm going to be me. This is where I can take a few minutes out of the day to refocus and center myself.

I have always put a big emphasis on dreams and what they mean to me. My family refers to me as The Dreamer because I think too much & I can spend a whole day just daydreaming...So when I'm not being Mary or Lola or Minnie, I am just The Dreamer and these are my confessions....

...Said The Wolfe to Little Red

This poem is short, sweet, dark, and delightfully twisted =] I love the way my mind works...

pick some for your mother
and pray they don't prick her finger or her heart,
because blood roses are a sure sign of the Devil
and thorns can kill the best of them...

I Am

This was originally a poem I wrote for a school assignment but I kind of fell in love with it after I wrote it.



I am the rhyme and the reason 
I wonder what dreams may come 
I hear the songs that only angels and poets can hear 
I see the phoenix rising from the ashes to take her place among the legendary 
I want to dance upon the fabled surfaces of the patina of time 
I am the rhyme and the reason 

I pretend to hear the haunting celestial melody of the stars 
I feel the tangibility of inspiration at my fingertips 
I touch heaven one stanza at a time 
I worry that I may never find the substance of the universe 
I cry the oceans that Jesus walked upon 
I am the rhyme and the reason 

I understand the mysteries of the words 
I say the words that were never meant to be spoken 
I dream the Purple Mountain's Majesty 
I try to cup the magic of history within my inadequate hands 
I hope that I can read between the lines 
I am the rhyme and the reason

Paper Thin Hearts

This poem is very personal. I wrote it when I was 15 and dealing with issues with my biological mother. This poem is about the issues of dealing with someone struggling with a drug addiction. Sometimes you reach a point where you want to give up and walk away but you have to remember how fragile that person really is.

Powdery thin, soft, translucent skin
Under my trembling fingers as I work fast
To repair all her rips and tears
But her skin gives me paper cuts

I told her once I'd put her back together
If she fell apart
So here I am fullfilling my promises
Mending her skin
Feeling guilty for her sins
Blushing for her in mortification

Glue back the pieces of a picture torn
By fingers that could barely rip the paper
Paper....

Rolled up with herbal escape in the middle
To smoke and drift..drift away
With the vapors that secrete from her tightly drawn lips

Chase those vapors and in doing so
Open...
Open wide sweetie...let it all out
Scream..cry for that precious smoke as it drifts
Across the room and into my mouth

She sat in the corner watching me with such contempt
Silent hate filtering from her gaze
Across the room to me...her savior
Such agony in her beautiful, bloodshot eyes
That I almost felt guilty...
Almost..
Guess I'll get mad instead

Now here I go to her
Doing the forbidden..giving into temptation
Touching her papery thin skin with sharpened nails
Ready to tear her apart, rip her insides out
Only to find...
She turned to dust beneath my touch

Metaphorically Speaking

This poem is about sex and drugs lol...It's dedicated to my older sister because all her candid talks with me about her younger years inspired this.

real.cool.sexy.cool
naked beauty
raw
unkempt
atop my sensual star
reveling in a faerie kingdom of ecstacy
innocuous injections beneath the skin of a passionfruit
that i found in the Paradise of the aerial kingdom
that Jack and I climbed a beanstalk to find
before we fell
real s.l.o.w.l.i.k.e
into the coral reef [in the oceans
that you call your eyes]
real.sexy.cool-like.eyes
that kissed the curves of my naked body
while i spun off into herbal dreams
sunkissed ;; soulful ;; sinfullness
and we exchanged stolen glances
and secret eskimos kisses
from across the v a s t n e s s of vindication
until finally you joined me atop my naked star
where the passionfruit daemons cant get me
and im finally a powerpuff girl

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Broken Superman

I wrote this for a friend that was in an unhealthy relationship. She confided in me after she got an abortion so I wrote her a poem to let her know that I understood..

She is a blushing beauty

And he's a reckless warrior

But he's also her Superman

Or at least that's what she likes to pretend

Like Lois Lane she is a writer

But he doesn't waste his time being Clark Kent

He is too busy saving her world

One fruitless lie at a time

And he can't bear to break her

More than she has broken herself

So he stains her lips with his lies

While she stains his pillow with her tears

She is not as stupid as he wants to believe her to be

She is just to weak to be as smart as she is

So she drowns herself in her lovely downer

Because it puts her to sleep

And at least she can be strong in her dreams

But she fears what her Superhero would say

So she hides her habit in all the obvious places

Out of some frightened hope he'll find her secret and save her

But this time in reality

Little does she know he watches her destroy herself

Not quite indifferently

And little does he know she killed the kryptonite babies

Not because she wasn't ready

But because she wants to be his only weakness